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Carmody and Associates

www.carmodyandassociates.com


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Lesson 11

Effective Organizational Habits Open Doors, Including Those that Allow You to Be Your Own Boss


“As a teenager, I was an organizational mess. My room was such a disaster that when my father came into my room to investigate after hearing someone (my boyfriend) knocking on my window one night, he crawled through my room to make sure he did not trip over the piles of clothes, books, and other items on my floor. Although being scared to death by my dad – I had not heard him come in – should have encouraged me to change my ways, it did not. When I married my boyfriend four years later, it was he who prompted the beginning of my organizational transformation. He lived by the motto, a place for everything and everything in its place. I started hanging up my clothes in the closet, putting things away in their place, and began to appreciate some of the benefits of being organized.

Still, it was not until I started my career that the benefits of having good organizational skills were proven to me.”


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“It’s all about helping others – lifting them up and helping them achieve what they want to achieve.” – Nora Riva Bergman


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Bailey & Glasser LLP

www.baileyglasser.com


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Lesson 12

Three Things I Wish I’d Remembered at the Start of My Practice


“Practicing mindfulness and meditation were part of my childhood. I grew up in a family of communicators, counselors, and wonderful people who support their communities. I always wanted to help people; the question was how. Before I practiced law, I worked in professional theater. While maybe not a traditional pre-law profession, theater ignited my desire to pursue the law.

When I started law school, I knew I wanted to be there—I was there to help people. And I knew it would be hard. What I didn’t know was that I would question being there. I didn’t know how I would be helping people. And I didn’t know how hard it would be.

When I am asked how I found my path or how I ended up interested in my current area of practice, electronic discovery, I respond that I found an area that engaged me and ran with it. When I am asked how I balance work and life, I explain that it isn’t easy. I don’t always find balance, which is OK.”


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“If a woman reads this book and thinks to herself, ” That’s me,” or “If she can do that, so can I, that would be awesome.” – Nora Riva Bergman


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Three Thirteen Law, PLLC

www.threethirteenlaw.com


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Lesson 13

Don’t Do It Alone


“Survey after survey shows that lawyers are disproportionately susceptible to mental health and addiction issues. These problems get worse with isolation. Being the only, or one of a few, female attorneys can add to this isolation. So, don’t isolate yourself. Get out there and be someone that people expect to see, so that if you start isolating yourself someone might reach out to check on you. Be a name and face that people recognize; it makes you more accountable to yourself as well. You’re less likely to isolate yourself if you feel that your absence from events will be noticed.

I suffered from depression and panic disorder long before I became a lawyer, which gave me the benefit of learning how to cope before adding the stresses of the law to my life. One of those lessons is that people are more important than anything in this world.”


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“Block off some time for yourself…your time of reflection can be some of the most valuable time you build into your week.” from Slow It Down, by Stephanie Scarborough


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Mediator, Author, and Speaker

www.susandaicoff.webs.com


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Lesson 14

Honoring Yourself


ALWAYS DRESS FOR THE JOB YOU WANT NEXT, NOT THE JOB YOU HAVE NOW.
This may not be trendy or popular in today’s business casual world, but it has stood me in good stead. It makes me feel more confident and capable. Someone may notice you and think, “She would be a good candidate for promotion to president/dean/director, etc.” Do you want to move up with more responsibility? Do you think that your ideas might move your organization or firm forward into a brighter future? Treat yourself to an amazing wardrobe.


SPEND ENERGY WISELY (“BE THE WATER THAT FLOWS AROUND THE ROCK AND EVENTUALLY WEARS IT AWAY”).
Women lawyers – still – apparently receive inappropriate and offensive words, looks, gestures, and actions, probably daily. It has taken me 38 years to acknowledge many situations in law school and practice that were wrong. I should have complained and may have had good causes of action. There’s a balance here between honoring yourself and honoring how you spend your time and energy. There’s no need to pretend that offensive things didn’t occur or aren’t occurring, but there’s no need to wear oneself out, either. I choose to spend energy on my own personal goals and actions, which leads to the next point.”


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“Just say ‘no’ to the naysayers. They will not see the vision you see, and…It’s your responsibility to live that vision and believe in it.” from Overcoming the Obstacle of Naysayers, by Wendi Weiner


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Affinity Consulting Group

www.affinityconsulting.com


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Lesson 15

Do What You Love


“If you don’t love your job, it is time to consider a career change. You might not have to look as far as you might think to find a rewarding alternative career.  Many attorneys no longer excited by the prospect of walking into the office or courtroom every day have found satisfaction just outside of the practice of law. Your license is still valuable, even if you leave the actual practice of law.

I was working in a small specialty law firm when I started dreading going to work every day. The dread crept in; it didn’t happen overnight. In fact, it took me months to realize that the career I worked so hard for just wasn’t a good fit for me. After months of convincing myself to get out of bed and drive to work, I realized I needed to make a change.”


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“A good workout takes one hour. That’s 4% of your day. No excuses. I had never thought about it in that way. I decided I deserved 4% of my day! I was worth it!” from The Power of Putting Yourself First, by Kristine Reed


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University of Miami
School of Law

www.LawWithoutWalls.org


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Lesson 16

There’s Me and There’s Me and There’s Me: It May be Too Much, But Too Little of Me is Not Enough


“They say good things come in threes. I hope “they” are right because there are three of me.

There’s Me: the personal Me. The romantic who will drink a bottle of wine with you in the middle of the day and walk in the rain in Central Park holding your hand. The friend who will laugh at stupid jokes because it feels good to laugh. The Me who takes risks, jumps without thinking, takes a trip on a whim, who dreams big, and cries hard. There is silly Me who gets lost in a paper bag driving to the same place I’ve been before. And don’t forget rash Me who says things I don’t mean in the heat of the moment and who takes them back right away (OK, eventually), and then there’s forever-faithful, loyal Me who will forgive fast and often—over and over again.

Then there’s second Me, the maternal Me, the Me I grew into over time.

Me-three is an altogether different Me, one who I created after gradu-ating from college because I thought I was supposed to, because that’s what everyone did, because it worked better that way. … my third Me? Well, she was an epic mess.”


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“Rejection is valuable. It forces me to re-examine my approach. It prevents complacency, and it pushes my boundaries.” from Pushing Past Fear and Failure, by Artie Renee Pobjecky


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The John Marshall Law School

www.jmls.edu


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Lesson 17

Deciding


“Because making decisions is a part of life and leadership, a decision-making doctrine is indispensable. Below are principles from my own doctrine, which has been developed over decades of making decisions, evaluating the results, and learning from others.

CHOOSE THE RIGHT LENS.

Choose the right lens or perspective. As a law school dean, my touchstone is to make decisions that advance my school’s best interest. Stated differently, I shouldn’t advance my own interests, or the interests of any person or group, over the school’s overall interest.

Even when your choices range from “bad” to “worse,” a strong decision-making process can help you reach the best result. Identify the specific problem or question that needs to be resolved. Failing to refine the issue can result in a decision that doesn’t address the real problem.

Establish and rank criteria. Criteria might include legal and regulatory compliance, financial costs, return on investment, ability to implement, timing, employee morale, and reputational impact. Decide how you will use criteria to evaluate alternatives and define ‘success.’”


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“Not just advice, but affirmation that so much of what we feel and have experienced has been felt and experienced by others.” – Nora Riva Bergman


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Puris Consulting

www.purisconsulting.com


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Lesson 18

Own Who You Are


“Everyone has a great story that can inspire others and drive success. Everyone’s story is just as important and impactful as the next person’s story. Without our stories, our impact and success are minimized.

My story of success starts as a 6-year-old girl in Iran. When the revolution hit Iran in 1979, we knew we were not welcome there anymore as a religious minority. We decided to leave for a short bit until the unrest died down. We packed two suitcases and flew to Indiana, thinking we’d be gone for a few weeks. We never went back to Iran.

Fast-forward a few years. I always wanted to be a securities lawyer. Two reasons: 1) I wanted to save the world, and I thought being a lawyer was the way to do so; and 2) I wrongly thought that maybe, if I was a lawyer, people would love and accept me more.”


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“My hope is that this book will empower women lawyers to bring their whole selves to their work, to their loved ones, and to their lives.” from the Introduction, by Nora Riva Bergman


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Legal Tech Entrepreneur, Writer, and Former Practicing Lawyer

www.twitter.com/ivybgrey


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Lesson 19

Choose Your Own Adventure: Decisions, Pivots, and Possibilities


“In our legal careers, we buy into the notion that there is only one path. We imagine a well-marked, perfectly manicured, tranquil path that will lead us to success, if we only stay the course. Then we live in fear of being forced off that path due to some mistake. We imagine that anything outside of that path is a raging river of hot lava and certain doom. But what if straying from that path led you to something better?

Most of us imagine a linear path where we start our careers as associ-ates and eventually become partners in a law firm. We expect that we will work long hours, do “good work,” serve on a few firm and bar association committees, write a couple of articles, and then we’ll get there. What if you could release yourself from the fear and expectation that you must follow this singular narrow path to succeed? What if you could do something different?”


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“Block off some time for yourself…your time of reflection can be some of the most valuable time you build into your week.” from Slow It Down, by Stephanie Scarborough


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Spread Your Sunshine™

www.spreadyoursunshine.com


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Lesson 20

Dream Beyond Perfection!


“My husband and I recently adopted a beautiful son. Wanting to be the best parents possible, the positives and negatives of our childhoods were analyzed. For me, the reflection revealed a main characteristic developed that deeply intertwined with my legal career—perfectionism. Although this attribute resulted in some pretty sweet successes – a silver lining – it also meant I was petrified of failure—a significant professional impediment.

To illuminate, during a conference addressing perfectionists’ low self-esteem, decreased self-confidence, and minimalized achievements, a story was told about a female lawyer who let perfection overrun her practice. For years, she reviewed all of her office’s work before it was finalized, the only way she could ensure perfection. Problematically, capacity limited her review capabilities, preventing her practice’s growth. Additionally, the mounting documents required around-the-clock work to the exclusion of family and friends. The lawyer was unhappy both at work and home until eventually realizing that abandoning perfection would cause professional and personal growth. She committed that moving forward, at least 10% of her daily work would be “wrong,” as dealing with the fallout from any associated mistakes was faster than perfection. The model was a success.”


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“Block off some time for yourself…your time of reflection can be some of the most valuable time you build into your week.” from Slow It Down, by Stephanie Scarborough


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